Reruns: Am I Enlightened or Not? (Part Two)
Parsley, 02/18/03
Table of Contents:
- Introduction
- Methodology
- Experimental Design
- Complications
- Results: Enlightenment Epistemology
- Results: Ethics
- Conclusions
Results: Enlightenment Epistemology
The Problem:
Where does human knowledge come from? Can true knowledge be derived from a priori reason (i.e. reasoning based on pure logic, not sensory data), or is the mind a blank slate at birth, which can only gain knowledge through sensory (a posteriori) experience?
Readers interested in a more in-depth (or adequate) explanation of these philosophies can refer to (among many other sources) the writings of Rene Descartes for a classic rationalist account and those of John Locke for a typical empiricist view.
The Slogans:
1 (Empiricism): "Knowledge comes from sensory experience."
2 (Rationalism): "Knowledge comes from a priori reason."
Data:
Note: links are provided to the AIHON page associated with each of the images used in this experiment, but readers are asked to exercise their discretion and not vote on the images. Please leave them in their present state for future readers (and voters). Furthermore, by reading this essay you have become a biased judge. So hands off and obey the prime directive on this one. Thank you.
| Female/ Empiricism |
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| Submitted 2/13/02 - Done 2/18/02 |
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| Rating: 4.6 |
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| 1527 Votes |
| Male/ Empiricism |
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| Submitted 2/18/02 - Done 2/19/02 |
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| Rating: 5.7 |
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| 162 Votes |
| Female/ Rationalism |
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| Submitted 2/19/02 - Done 2/24/02 |
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| Rating: 4.5 |
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| 1520 Votes |
| Male/ Rationalism |
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| Submitted 2/24/02 - Done 2/26/02 |
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| Rating: 4.7 |
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| 141 Votes |
Table of Results:
| Empiricism | Rationalism | |
|---|---|---|
| Male | 5.7 | 4.7 |
| Female | 4.6 | 4.5 |
| Totals | 10.3 | 9.2 |
Winner: Empiricism
Analysis:
The results summarized above indicate that the empiricist viewpoint is correct, and correct by a fairly substantial margin. The factual establishment of this truth represents a huge advance in philosophy and proves the usefulness of the new scientific approach. The debate between these two epistemological schools lasted hundreds of years and attrected the attention of the period's greatest minds. Even now, students of philosophy often spend an entire semester studying the development of these ideas, and at the end of that semester there is still not an answer as coherent, verifiable, and easily understandable as this one, which can be apprehended fully in about five minutes, leaving the rest of the semester open to study origami, movie trivia, Nintendo cheat codes, or even other philosophical problems.
Complaints that many AIHON voters would not know what "a priori" means are baseless; AIHON measures hotness, not vocabulary.
FACT: Knowledge comes from sensory experience.
Results: Ethics
The Problem:
When we make a decision about the ethical value of an action, what should be the basis of our consideration? One view holds that the consequences of an action determine its moral worth. This theory is most associated with Utilitarian ethicists like Jeremy Bentham and John Stuart Mill. Another widely held belief, expressed most famously by Immanuel Kant, is that the actor's intent (the "maxim of one's action," in Kant's words) is the proper object for ethical judgment.
The Slogans:
1 (Intentionalism): "The moral value of an action is based on the intentions of the actor."
2 (Consequentialism): "The moral value of an action is based on the consequences of that action."
Data:
| Female/ Intentionalism |
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| Submitted 2/26/02 - Done 3/3/02 |
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| Rating: 4.7 |
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| 1519 Votes |
| Male/ Intentionalism |
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| Submitted 3/3/02 - Done 3/5/02 |
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| Rating: 6.0 |
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| 144 Votes |
| Female/ Consequentialism |
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| Submitted 3/5/02 - Done 3/10/02 |
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| Rating: 4.9 |
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| 1521 Votes |
| Male/ Consequentialism |
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| Submitted 3/10/02 - Done 3/12/02 |
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| Rating: 5.7 |
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| 154 Votes |
Table of Results:
| Intentionalism | Consequentialism | |
|---|---|---|
| Male | 6 | 5.7 |
| Female | 4.7 | 4.9 |
| Totals | 10.7 | 10.6 |
Winner: Intentionalism
Analysis:
This is a close call, but it is clear that the intentionalist interpretation of morality is accurate. In light of the epistemological breakthroughs above, this is somewhat surprising, as empiricist thinkers, who have recently been proven correct, generally hold utilitarian ethical views, which we can now see are totally stupid and wrong. Nevertheless, facts are facts.
The question of how intentions are to be judged remains unanswered, pending the development of sufficiently catchy slogans.
FACT: The moral value of an action is based on the intentions of the actor.
Conclusions
In this initial experiment, only two philosophical issues were considered. These issues were old and controversial ones, though, and the new scientific approach was able to solve them in a matter of days. This represents a substantial improvement over the "lifetime of study and meditation"technique which has been favored in the past.
There is no reason other problems of philosophy could not be solved using the new method. The issues considered here each had two clear sides that were strongly opposed to each other. Debates with many subtly different viewpoints could be resolved as well, but at the cost of increased complexity. The author is suspending his research until he can find a new set of "models." The two current photos have surely been noticed by AIHON employees and frequent users. To avoid arousing suspicion, they have been retired.
The revolutionary techniques described in this article do not spell the end of professional philosophy, nor do they point to a massive layoff of philosophers. Rather, the nature and duties of philosophical research will need to change slightly to keep pace with technology. The philosopher will have to master the skills of the fashion scout (finding the perfect, universally appealing model), the advertising copywriter (condensing needlessly complex philosophical treatises into short, memorable slogans), and the devout Star Wars fan (checking web sites several times a day). It may be beneficial to have a dedicated site for rating philosophical images. Such a site would eliminate the necessity of sneaking past AIHON's anti-intellectual terms of service, but would never equal the quantity and diversity of AIHON's traffic.
Readers who have made it to the end of this article have seen answers to some of the problems that troubled history's greatest thinkers. While it may be very personally satisfying to brag of being "smarter than Kant," the newly-enlightened reader must remember his or her responsibility to work from this knowledge, identifying and solving the remainder of humanity's great problems. New research results are welcome, as are constructive comments and criticism.
Acknowledgments:
Many thanks are due to the AIHON staff, and to the anonymous individuals whose pictures I shamelessly stole for this project. It has also become clear to me that my work owes a great intellectual debt to Old Man Murray's Crate Review System. Thanks also to all the people who put their pictures on Hot or Not, allowing me to hide my images in the crowd, especially the pretty girl with the glasses.