Hola Amigos,
It’s been a long time since I rapped at y’all, but I’ve been busy, what with my new jobs in Portland, OR and all. But I had this really weird dream last night and I thought I’d share it with you, the loyal readership of CNF.
So I was searching for something. Something important. And I had this partner, who was helping me find said thing. And there were also bad guys who were trying to find it before us. And also trying to kill us. And that was a crapload of sentences in a row beginning with the word ‘and.’ And that second to last “sentence” beginning with ‘and’ isn’t actually a sentence, but I’m sure you know what I meant.
Anyway, I think I probably killed a few of them as we were searching. I don’t remember much detail from the actual search, but I just feel that this was the case. I don’t know how I killed them, since I don’t recall having any weapons, but I still think I did.
Eventually, we found this small room with this computer, see, and said computer apparently had something to do with, or was, in actuality, what we were trying to find because my partner in the search immediately sat down and started furiously fiddling with the computer. I think there were two things that we had to do with the computer, and right after we completed the first, the door started to open, as the bad guys had found us. Fortunately, I was able to use my strength to force the door shut again and lock it. The lock was actually just one of those crappy twist button things that you find on doorknobs, but apparently it was a really good one, since they were unable to break through the door. After accomplishing this, I climbed to the top of the door and opened a tiny (like 3” high and 10” wide) window to use in taunting the bad guys, since my partner was working on the computer, and I had nothing better to do. I stuck my hand out briefly and gave them the finger, then threw a swingline stapler (rather like Milton’s special stapler in Office Space except black instead of red) through the window, which elicited a rather annoyed “OWWW!!!” from one of the villains on the other side of the door. They threw a wristwatch back at me, which I thought was amusing. Needless to say, I threw it back. At this point, the window started to do weird things. It replicated into three identical windows and each started expanding until they were a couple feet tall and a couple feet wide. The villains began to try to make it through these windows, so I punched and kicked them until they fell down. Then they would try again. At one point, a female bad person tried to stab me with a two foot long needle but missed and got it stuck in the window frame. Around this point some sort of rope/harness/vine/thing grew from the ceiling, and I attached myself to it. I would swing out from the wall and slam my feet into anyone trying to get through the windows. Soon, several villains at a time would be trying to get through the windows, so I retrieved the needle from where it was stuck. I found that I rather enjoyed sticking one bad guy with the needle while I landed full force on another’s chest. They rather did not enjoy this, I assure you. After I did this for a while, my alarm rang, waking me up, which was too bad because I kinda wanted to know what the hell I was looking for, anyway, but oh well.
Interpretations of this dream, or anything but spam, really, will be welcomed here. Have a swell day.