Subliminal buddy icons
Parsley, 04/18/03
Instant Messaging is what all the kids are talking about these days. It’s used in homes, offices, and schools all over the world, and some easily impressed pundits have even labeled IM the next “killer app.” But if you’re like most way cool cyber-teens, you only use IM for one thing: trying to make sweet love with, or at least masturbate in unison with, a 14-year old girl, or at least a 40-year old comic shop owner pretending to be a 14-year old girl. This can be challenging, though - after all, you’re looking for sex on the Internet; what do you know about the ways of romance?
According to local parents’ groups and heavy metal guitarists alike, the best way to get a message across and really change peoples’ behavior is subliminally. According to the fine people at AOL/Time Warner, the best way to express your individuality online is a clever buddy icon. According to Camp No Friends, the guaranteed best way to get lucky online is a clever buddy icon containing subtle subliminal messages enjoining your chat partner to doff his/her clothes and get freaky. We are therefore pleased to offer this collection of subliminal buddy icons. Your buddies will think all is normal, but as you chat, barely perceptible sexual suggestions will beam through the ether at a steady, hypnotic rate. Before you can say “wanna cyber?” the hyperlady or e-fellow of your dreams will be typing with one hand. Enjoy.
Designs:
A lovely unicorn
Spongebob Squarepants is very popular nowadays
Yoda uses the power of the force
The appeal of Pokemon is inexplicable
Note: I am no lawyer, but I can’t help thinking that if one of these icons helps you score, you have at least a moral responsibility to thank me in some significant way, perhaps with a valuable prize or reward.
