Macintosh Me
Lobagirl, 04/06/03
NOTE: As the case with most of the parodies, I wrote this a long time ago and am only dredging it out because I am drowning in grad school work right now. So try not to hate me for butchering a pretty good R.E.M. song, and I’ll come up with a real entry ASAP. Now, on with the show. . .
MACINTOSH ME
by LobaGirl
(with apologies to R.E.M.)
I dragged across memory lost
—Bookshelf and WordStar
I examined the dearth in my new Publisher;
It crashed like a kite.
I’m so bitter, my complaints
They don’t get me anything.
I don’t know what that button’s for
I don’t like my PC anymore.
CHORUS:
I’d sooner chew my leg off
Than be stuck with this junk
How easy you think is cyberbliss?
Microsoft can bite me.
I couldn’t take it
I’m tired of fakin’
I don’t know what this program’s for
I don’t want my PC anymore.
I move across showroom floors;
(My screen just went blank)
I’d sit there in my room with my friends, playing
Doom
My hard drive couldn’t think.
Oh, my dear, over here
More PC’s are flashing
But Bill Gates made sure behind the scenes
His competition’s lacking
Repeat CHORUS
I made the toss, considered the cost,
I panicked and perspired
I’m blue in the face from dealing with Gates
I set Windows on fire
So I stripped down, laid my thoughts out:
I don’t have to fake it
A Macintosh can make it
My Macintosh can make it.
I’m quickly ticking things off
Of my to-do list;
How easier now is cyberbliss!
My Macintosh and me!
I’m making pages,
I’m as smart as Gates is
I found peace in an Apple store
I don’t need their PC’s anymore.