The Numbers Game
Zedd, 03/26/03
Before You Ask, Yes, I Sometimes Have Trouble Sleeping
So I had work this morning. Unfortunately, this involved my getting up at 6:30, which is rarely an enjoyable experience, especially when I sleep until 11 or so the day before. I didn’t even try to go to bed until midnight, but still, I lay awake thinking about lots of crazy and inane things. Eventually, I started counting things. I don’t really remember most of these things, but I eventually found myself thinking of one of those clicker things with four digits and the white numbers on a black background. Every time I thought a number in my mind, it appeared on the clickermahickey. Eventually, I succeeded in clearing my mind pretty well, that is, until one thought surfaced and stayed put.
I thought to myself, I wonder, starting with the number 1 and going up in order (1, 2, 3, 4, etc.) (I’m sure you really needed that to figure out what I was talking about…yeah…), when I would come to a number that I have never seen before. Let’s clarify what I mean when I say ‘seen.’ I have seen a number if I have physically viewed it with my eyes. Perhaps I wrote this number myself, perhaps I passed it while driving or saw it in a book. So to be brief, the numbers that had been clicking away in my head didn’t count, but I’m sure I’ve seen all of those numbers before anyway (I only got to around a thousand or so before either drifting off into sleep or losing interest in the whole counting thing…actually, I think I stopped right at 1,005, which came shortly after I thought of this silly numbers idea). I’m pretty sure I continued to think about this silly concept right up until I fell asleep. I also remember hoping that I would remember my musings in the morning. As you might guess, I did remember them.
The problem with this question is that it’s pretty damn hard to try to come up with an answer to it. I’m sure that statisticians could come up with an answer…but I could do that too, if I had the right data and stuff. I, however, am not interested in an answer with standard deviations, test populations, means, medians, modes, and all that shit. I want to know the exact number, damnit; I just hope this desire doesn’t lose me much sleep.
Now, the question is how to go about determining my number…I’ll give myself up to 1,000 without thinking about it too hard. It would probably be kind of hard to find someone my age who hasn’t seen all those numbers (outside of West Virginia, anyway), or maybe I’m dead wrong about that. Well…still alive…I guess I passed that test. Once you get past here, it’s really anybody’s guess as to what my number is. I like science, specifically chemistry and geology, so I work with charts, tables, graphs, and math in general, a lot. I’ll give myself an extra four thousand for that one. I have also taken many a standardized test in my day, so I’ll take another 1,143 for that one. Unfortunately, the CRC handbook and Merck Index are broken up into sections that are numbered separately, or I could just start at 5,000 or so. So I play computer games at times, which will give me 742 more numbers. We’ll say I get 7 numbers a year from driving, giving me 46 more. And how about 3/year from walking about every year…77 more. I spent the summer in NYC, and was there for 2 days over New Years. This gives me 148. Finally, I’ll give myself 813 just because I say so. I guess my number is 7,969, wow…not bad…
…shit…I just typed it…that means it’s not my number…fuck…
Oh well, maybe I made it over 8,000 now. That would be cool.